Are you suffering from Too-Many-To-Do’s?
Giant Marble Boulders on Beach, Moeraki, New Zealand
Symptoms:
- Incessant underlying low-grade tension
- Scribbled lists on piles of post-it’s and papers
- Spinning thoughts
- Paralysis when you think of what you need to do today
- Overuse of the word “overwhelm”
- Constant concern that you’re forgetting something
- Jarring awake in the middle of the night realizing you HAVE in fact forgotten something
I’m here to tell you …
Today is a brand new day and it’s the perfect day for peace of mind.
Peace begins with separating out what is truly, truly important and what can fall away. And letting what can fall away fall.
Let’s get this party started
If you’re like me, you’re probably saying something that sounds a bit like this:
“But it’s ALL important!!!”
I hear ya. I’m with ya. And it’s true, it totally feels that way, right?
But here’s the thing: It’s not that way. I know it feels that way … but it’s not that way. There are certain things which, if left undone, the world would not come to an end. Really, it’s true.
Imagine this:
You’re having a dinner party. There’s all this stuff to be done.
People to invite. Food to buy. Decorations to put up. Gift bags to assemble. Recipes to cook. Plates and cups and utensils to be laid out. Hair to be washed. Clothes to put on. Big to-do list, right?
Now just say you’re jammin’ along on your list and suddenly you look up and … wow, the party’s starting in a half hour! Certain things would drop off the list.
And it would be ok.
I know, I know, you really want to get it all done, to have absolutely the most kick butt party in the whole wide world but …
- Maybe it’s ok for you to NOT make that crab dip your partygoers would so very much love. After all, you do already have the main course cooked and the drinks are so very delicious. And maybe it’s not ideal but maybe, just maybe, it would be totally fine.
- Maybe when your first guest comes they could help you put the utensils out. And maybe it’s not ideal but maybe, just maybe, it would be totally fine.
- Maybe a few of the things from your massive to-do list don’t get done. And maybe it’s not ideal but maybe, just maybe, it would be totally fine.
Separate the stones
Envision a glass jar. You’ve got stones and pebbles and sand. What’s the most efficient way to fill up that jar? If you fill up your jar with sand first, you’ll never get your stones in there.
Put the stones in first, then the pebbles. Last, the sand can flow in between the spaces.
First, let’s get acquainted with your stones, your pebbles and your sand. To determine which is which, ask yourself, “If this did not get done, what’s the worst that would happen?”
Essential stones:
Let’s face it, although very little on our to-do list is truly, truly life-altering, certain things definitely do feel that way. Essential stones are the things which, if not done … well, the party just would not happen.
These are the things that would make the most impact on your desired end result. They do not merely add to the experience … If one were to drop off the list, there would be no experience.
Example: If you were giving a party and didn’t invite anyone … no party. Sure sign that this is an essential stone.
Pebbles:
Ask yourself the question, “Will this matter a year from now?”
Pebbles do feel important but if one were to not fit into your jar, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. There would still be a party.
These things may feel like necessities but if one had to drop off, it would be ok. A different experience but ok.
Example: Of course it’s our intention for your guests to have something to drink but if they didn’t, would there still be a party? Of course there would!
Sand:
Sand is the minutia. These are the tiny details, the experience-enhancers, the wishes or the add-ons.
Examples: The tenth appetizer. The tea lights placed with care on the tables. The little place cards telling each guest where to sit.
Choose and let go.
You will never get there, so enjoy your journey.
You do not need to be in charge of doing every single last thing that can possibly be done.
Have you ever noticed … when you finally check off one to-do list, before you even breathe a sigh of relief there’s another list of to-do’s ready and waiting?
Your in-box will never be empty and you will never get it all done. Make peace with that.
The belief that you do need to get everything done and that you can actually one day accomplish that “all-is-done” state … This is what keeps you in stress.
And by you I mean me. 
I was the worst of the worst. Talk about underlying stress. I still go there sometimes and so I make it a point to remind myself of this daily … and each time that I do, I feel relief.
Choose and then let go. Separate out the important things and the rest, delegate to the universe.
This is the path to peace.
A few final words of wisdom …
The journey is the reward
“If you’re obsessed with getting everything done, you’ll never have a sense of well-being! In reality, almost everything can wait. If I remind myself frequently that the purpose of life isn’t to get it all done but to enjoy each step along the way and live a life filled with love, it’s far easier for me to control my obsession with completing my list of things to do.”
–Richard Carlson
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
“You will never get it all done. How does that feel? If that feels like, ‘Oh good’ … then you are remembering that the destination has never been what it’s about. The destination just gives you something to focus upon so that energy flows, so that your journey is exhilarating.”
– Abraham-Hicks
Excerpted from the workshop in Portland, OR on Tuesday, May 1st, 2001
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Special thanks to Jeanna Gabellini for imparting her wisdom (inspired by Stephen Covey / Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) … and for allowing me to share her right-on metaphor of the party. Download Jeanna’s FREE teleclass “Ready, set…VISUALIZE” at Abundance Abounds.
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