Clink! The shaving gel hits porcelain. I pick it up, turn ‘round and … Dink! Wide-tooth comb at 1:00, knocked down off its perch. I laugh, “I’m such a spazz!”

Pause, review, remove.

Because … What was that? Did I hear a label being tossed around? I hate the word “hate” but I apologize in advance, I really must use it here:

I hate labels.

They don’t feel good. Plus when you get right down to it, they’re verbal post-it notes. They never stick.

Think about it:

Guy’s supposed to come fix your cable. Doesn’t show. What a jerk! “Jerk?” Maybe.

Or maybe he’s a cable guy. A cable guy who didn’t come.

Same guy brings home a puppy to his daughter. Sweet! Sweet guy. He now has two post-it’s stuck to his forehead:

Sweet.

Jerk.

What a sweet jerk!

And about a million other things.

Y’see, with labels it’s all or nothin’. Either we acknowledge that he’s everything from dark to light … or we remove his dark label and talk about the action, not the person.  I prefer label removal. Observe:

“I’m such a spazz.”

Or

“I knocked the over the shaving gel. I knocked over the comb.”

Hmm. Feels better already.

Here’s the technique:

Pause: “Hang on a sec, I notice I just labeled somebody.” (Self or other, same rules apply). Not to worry, happens all the time with us humans.

Review: Rewind and look back. What was your misperception? Or what was your over-generalization? What did you think or say that was only a half-truth? Labels usually involve one of these.

Remove: Get real and super-truthful. Talk about the exact action instead of the exaggerated name or adjective.

“I’m an idiot” becomes “I forgot my keys.”

“He’s a player” becomes “He dates lots of girls.”

“She’s a snob” becomes “She didn’t say hi to me.”

It may take a bit of practice but label-removal is both freeing and simple. Like pullin’ off a bandaid, but without the sting. It only hurts if you leave it *ON*.

Look at the action, don’t label the person. Try a week of this and see how you feel. And don’t worry if you come home one day to find yourself covered with post-it’s … We’re all human. It happens. Just go back to the simple instructions:

Pause, review, remove.

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Down here is where I usually “give credit where credit is due” but guess what? Label removal is my own idea so if you tell your peeps, this time YOU’re gonna have to give ME credit, how ’bout that? :: The image you see is a card from the Power Thought Card Deck by Louse Hay :: Visit We Are THAT Family for more Works-For-Me-Wednesday ideas! :: Share on Facebook

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